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Deep Rest and Nurturing

Deep rest and nurturing help us find energy, calm, and clarity.   By taking care of ourselves, we are better able to recognize what is most important to us and to do more of it. 

Right now, our normal way of moving through the day and through life is disturbed, sometimes in deeply challenging ways. Deep rest and nurturing is harder and more important. We have an opportunity to see our habits and our lives through a new lense; to notice what is working for us and what isn’t.     

I notice one of my coping mechanisms when I am stressed or anxious is to stay busy (work, clean, shop, make plans, cook, and generally bustle about.)  When I’m worn out from all that busy work I numb out (watch TV, read a novel, and in the past I drank too much alcohol.)  During hard times, patterns like this can help us cope and get through the day.  They can also distract us and take us away from moving intentionally towards what is most important. 

One way to interrupt cycles and habits that aren’t working well is to nurture ourselves.  To rest deeply, mindfully and intentionally.   

What nurtures you?   

Take a minute to sit quietly and check in with yourself.  What truly nurtures you?  What allows you to feel more rested, alive and vital?   This could be anything!   Some examples for me are:

  • Time in nature  

  • Connecting with a loved one  

  • Creative expression 

  • Meditation 

  • Yoga

  • A walk or run  

  • A hot bath  

  • Cooking and eating a delicious meal  

  • Sitting by the fire with a cup of tea

  • Setting myself up for a good night of sleep 

As you consider what truly nurtures you, it’s ok to grieve the nurturing activities that are not available to you in the time of COVID-19.  (For me, not being able to give or receive bodywork is a huge loss.)  Notice the emotions (sadness, frustration, greif, whatever) and come back to how you can nurture yourself right now.

How do you make time for nurturing?

Try putting time for rest and nurturing on your calendar.  Look at the week ahead.  Where can you make time for rest and nurturing? This is equally important if you are busy working and homeschooling or have tons of free time on your hands.  Put it on your calendar and give it the same importance you would give a meeting with someone important to you.  (You are having an essential meeting with yourself!)

These are things I have on my calendar:  yoga classes (online), morning meditation, walks in nature, Zoom calls with friends.  Putting these things on the calendar also helps me coordinate with and get support from my partner.  He knows my time is taken and is available for our daughter if needed.

How do you make mental/physical/spiritual space for nurturing?

Sometimes the time for rest and nurturing arrives. . . and it is difficult to switch gears.  (For me this is when I go to bed early but can’t go to sleep,  or feel anxious and antsy during meditation, or go for a walk without noticing the trees because I am lost in troubled thought.)  This is a normal part of the process!  Self care is a practice- it is never perfect.  Notice what works and what doesn’t.  Baby steps are ok.     

Ritual can also help.  Ritual tells your mind and body that it’s time to rest and nurture. There are countless ways to create ritual:

  • Light a candle 

  • Go to a space that you only use for rest and nurturing

  • Use a song, prayer or mantra

  • Make a special cup of tea

  • Put distractions like your laptop, phone, remote control, keys, and to-do list away in a special box, knowing they will be there for you later.  (You can also write down distracting and ruminating thoughts and worries and put them in this box.)

I’d love to hear how you are finding deep rest and nurturing in your COVID-19 life and beyond!  Please share any ideas or questions!